All the Pretty Little Horses

The way my brain works seems to be rather autistic.

For my whole life, dealing with people has been the major power drainage no matter how I feel towards them. I may deeply love my mother, care a lot for my friends and be on very friendly grounds with my colleagues, but at the end of the day, I get tired from social communication more than from any other activity.

From 5th to 11th grade in school, I was learning individually, because my psychiatrist was a wonderful woman who quickly recognised this peculiarity of mine. My first attempt at university failed because there were too many people at the same time. My second attempt was severely hampered by that brain drain on processing the unnecessary stuff, but I would have already managed to go through it it if not for the War the Ruᛋᛋians started.

My prime conclusion is that I need to avoid the communal settings despite their prevalence in the academia. So, distance learning seems to be the way - I actually have fewer issues with keeping myself organised than with being around humans without an instrumental need for being around them.


My silence being of quite a lengthy sort, I now have to explain it.

During the whole September, I was working on transferring my Obsidian database from one vault to another while:

  1. re-factoring the notes and making them searchable using DataView;
  2. using LibGen and Sci-Hub so to download as many books and articles related to the persons on file as possible;
  3. streamlining the structure of files within the Obsidian vault so to make it more flat.
My Obsidian Vault Sketch in the end of September, 2023
Looks like this now.

Taking The Russian Back

I think that there is still a way to speak my mother's tongue without being a PigDogsian, a.k.a. a Ruᛋᛋian, a.k.a. a Moskal.

  1. I need to study the ways of speaking from my home region: strong jakanie (леса - л'аса); tsokannie (Опочка - Опоцка, цедить - чедить); the -ой ending as -эй or -ый; using ў at the end of the words; the alveolearised Л.
  2. Using the native morphology: the same endings for the Instrumental and dative case in plural (пойдем за грибам); the plural ending -ы.
  3. All these changes should be incorporated into my writing in as systematic way, before I switch to the latin script which I should also adjust to the new phonetics.

About How To Study Further

I am constantly thinking about my incomplete higher education, which is out of touch for me now, since I am not getting back to Ruᛋᛋia in any of its shapes on forms (even if Khuilo a.k.a. Vladimir Putin dies and Navalny becomes the president).

I have thoroughly sniffed through the options available in Armenia and Georgia as well as online, and I am more and more inclined to consider the [Open University]. $5,000-$9,000 / year is an acceptable for distance learning depending on the number or credits to be taken, and it seems legit, given the curriculums and Sociology being available as an undergraduate programme.

Of course, this will be a perfect backing for:

  • Publishing my findings as a student of a university, not as a nobody from nowhere.
  • Finding the like-minded people around the world.
  • Getting exposed to a thorough criticism of my ideas so to improve them.

I am still considering the possibility of getting to an Armenian university once I have learnt the language to an appropriate level, but I have a feeling that the universities of the ex-USSR countries are subject to the same set of problems that plague their functioning and the studies of their students.

A day of Counterfeit Knowledge

1 вересня на свіняче-собачіх болотах - це завжди свято лицемірства та брехні.

Свінособаки не могуть навчати своїх найобишів: вони могуть тільки індоктринуваті їх довбоєбстьвом і говноїдьством.

Освіта у Росії вбито всіх рівнях, відєбано в дупу і закопано: цілеспрямовано готується лише скотомаса, нездатна ні з роботи за професією, ні з розумне мішлення. Якщо хтось і виявляється здатним думати, це всупереч, не завдяки.


The 1st of September, which is proudly called The Day of Knowledge in Ruᛋᛋia is quite a characteristic scene for the most of the participants. Schools, universities and colleges open their doors to the newcomers and those who have already suffered the Ruᛋᛋian ‘Education’, and everything begins with the insincere banalities, tasteless music and the bullshit about the importance of education (which no one is about to give to the students).

There may be no good education in the country where the Government (either overtly or covertly) is the main employer, indeed. But that's not all: in a country where the government is just a super-structure over the feudal relationships, it is guaranteed that almost everyone will receive an anti-education that will leave them far behind the children of the ‘nobility’, who most probably will study abroad.

The kinds of ‘Knowlendge’ offered for celebrations to the Ruᛋᛋians is quite notorious and smelly:

  • The "Fundamentals of the Ruᛋᛋian Statehood" (Основы российской государственности)
  • The "Talks about the Important [Things]" (Разговоры о Важном)
  • The high course of school social sciences, missing such topics as "Democracy", "Transparent elections" and "Freedom of speech" and so on

It seems that the main peice of ‘Knowledge’ Kiriyenko and Putin want to put in the heads of all the students is simply ‘Love Your Comrade President, You Filthy Serf, Do as He Says’ - albeit in an bit obfuscated way so that the public could pretend for at least themselves that they have not been collectively degraded to the cogs in some criminal machine.

Luna-25 has shown the bleeding edge of the Ruᛋᛋian STEM disciplines - Ruᛋᛋians were not even able to grab the soviet project, hook on some new tech and have it work (compare this case to the Indian project which works well and was built from scratch).

The Ruᛋᛋian humanities have long became an anecdote.

There is no need to teach Law when the country is ruled without one.

And as for the medicine - well, in the name of fighting the Western Big Farma, Putin has no issue with letting millions of his citizens die of the simple diseases that could easily be cured before he attacked Ukraine. So, we should expect the appropriate ‘negative increase’ in the quality to the doctors produced by the Ruᛋᛋian universities.

And an interesting case – so not to let anyone get real knowledge or education by chance, the Ruᛋᛋian government extends the list of the blocked and propaganda-free web sites: from an outright ban of Wikipedia to the initiatives to either ban the teaching of foreign languages in the schools and universities, or degrade it significantly.

Happy Ruᛋᛋian Knowledge Day!