All the Pretty Little Horses

The way my brain works seems to be rather autistic.

For my whole life, dealing with people has been the major power drainage no matter how I feel towards them. I may deeply love my mother, care a lot for my friends and be on very friendly grounds with my colleagues, but at the end of the day, I get tired from social communication more than from any other activity.

From 5th to 11th grade in school, I was learning individually, because my psychiatrist was a wonderful woman who quickly recognised this peculiarity of mine. My first attempt at university failed because there were too many people at the same time. My second attempt was severely hampered by that brain drain on processing the unnecessary stuff, but I would have already managed to go through it it if not for the War the Ruᛋᛋians started.

My prime conclusion is that I need to avoid the communal settings despite their prevalence in the academia. So, distance learning seems to be the way - I actually have fewer issues with keeping myself organised than with being around humans without an instrumental need for being around them.

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